Camping Trip 2009

Happy Birthday Gramere!

Okay my secret is out - I have been a little worried about myself lately and how I just don't feel myself. A big bawl baby actually which I can date back to the beginning of the year with Braum leaving in January. All those who have known and been a part of my year it seemed to spiral downward since then. Since I seem to treat this blog as our family journal I should blog this year and all the crazy just so one day when our kids look back on it they won't think I am making it all up. I feel like I could write a book, but I know we all don't have time to read it, and frankly those of you who have permission to get on my site have already heard it. I really have felt not myself, weak - sad - putting on a brave front - not dealing with things people put in front of me like I want to. Then - - I call my Gramere just to wish her a Happy Birthday ..... and I was blessed! Without her probably knowing what she was doing for me - she made me feel normal, strong, and most of all understood. Some years ago she herself left a strong supportive community in Japan to where she knew no one to a place in Colorado. She too had 4 kids and her husband left her to go to Vietnam. She couldn't talk to him everyday and writing letters was all she had. She was bound and determined to put 200 percent into taking care of their children. She didn't tell me anything anyone else already has, but I found truth in her words. There is nothing wrong with missing your husband you love deeply, and its not easy, one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time and the time will pass and we will make it through it. I haven't been broke. My kids depend on me and there is nothing wrong with them knowing I miss their dad. Jesus made tears and there is nothing wrong with using them. :)
- happy birthday Gramere ...... and thank you!

Fun is......

having your cousins around!!!

Visitors